T.RASH (For the young girls who don't know better)

T.RASH

A crumpled piece of paper

Raw sentiments

Tossed in the trash with dreams, hopes and possibilities

Disposable

A dream deferred until I met you

Or rather you met me

See I used to feel disposable

Told my fantasies were nonnegotiable

And then it became painfully apparent

Or at least apparent to me

The reason for these disconnects

And this

Chance meeting on purpose

Interactions

Instant attraction

And erasure of my past present and rescripting of future

All came down to the question of you

See I used to dream about this moment

Drape myself with romantic notions and lyrics

That speak about all these feelings

that are so strong but to complex to describe

but keep spilling out of my lap and landing in your lap

and I have pride

but when I’m around you

I grow weak

But there’s no hiding the fact that what this is

is deeper than sinkholes in the bottom of the ocean

More violent then eye of storms in the midst of category 5s

See all that time I SPENT TRYING TO CONVINCE her and her and her that

All this love was waiting ---maybe all this was really waiting

for you

and I

Or me and you

Us

We

Cause every day is Valentines

Every evening before we reunite is Christmas eve

And every meal with you tastes like Sweet 16 parties, birthday cakes the last supper

Every hug smells like peace, comfort, security

and home

And when you walk next to me

When you walk next to me/beside me/guiding me down concrete pavements

Hands navigating

small of back through streetscapes and invisible landmines

I am feeling this feeling

I am feel cherished

And I am feeling this feeling

Chosen

And I am feeling this feeling

Taken

Absence creates aches and narratives of denial

Til the next time

that I wake up next to you

Hands interlocked

Grasping flesh in palm

Laying on shoulders or on chest

Eyes focused on you

The perfect song

The perfect beat

The perfect poem that few could ever decipher

Cause they don’t speak your tongue or

Know your language

So confessions by you go unanswered

Not because you are disposable

Unwanted

Unlovable

Not hard enough

Not suave

Or tall or whatever else they couldn’t find in you

Truth be

They didn’t have the

aptitude to translate these silent conversations carried by your spirit

That whisper in ears

Hold tightly

Protect

Promise

Build up instead of tear down

When they feel soft Kisses they just feel flesh

Not the wind from angel wings

All they see is another body and bridge to carry them over troubled water

Hurt people/hurt people

DUMB.