My apologies to the straight folk I offend

I suppose this isn't normal

Not being gay

Standing here telling you the most intimate details of my life

But this feeling of pride and confidence that I’m exuding right now

This bravado that surrounds me as I keep it real and display emotions that a lot of you find to be irrelevant

My love betrays me

Wont allow me to sway to another pronoun or hidden meaning

I find it demeaning that im suppose to hide behind alibis and secrets when reality all I want to do is be myself

While I am advised to be discreet

Don’t get to deep

Don’t make people uncomfortable

Make other people uncomfortable

Must I always concern myself with other people

Other people who don’t pay my bills

Take care of me

Yet here I am

Caught between a bible and a hard place

All in an effort to give them inner peace

So I’m suppose to be someone other than me?

Refer to her as a partner-sister-friend

Instead of baby

Talking in codes

Becoming a female James Bond

Homeless

Floating from place to place

Dropped held hands

In the midst of disapproving faces

Forced to neutralize this love-----

I have grown tired of fighting through these emotions

Breaking down walls and unlocking doors

These secrets

This discreetness threatens to swallow me whole

Chokes me with indifference

Ambivalence

Makes me angry

Hostile and so fucking empty